Snow-free, but extremely chilly.

Sometimes i wish we made noche buena a tradition in our family. Christmas eve always comes and passes without anything special happening. Yeah, people come on Christmas day and there's usually a lot of food… But i don't know, i guess it's just different when you have noche buena; when everyone's awake preparing to eat too much; when everyone's actually excited about the fact that it's already Christmas eve, sitting around waiting for it to actually come.

Like right now, i'm typing this entry alone in my room. Twelve Midnight came while i was sitting on the rocking chair watching "Man of the house" on HBO. I texted greetings to my friends then i stood up to get my pseudo noche buena from the fridge — a handful of hershey's kissables. Classy huh? c:

I looked around our unlit house and it made me really sad. My mom's not here, she left for west ave a while ago. Tita reina's not here either, she's with the Halili family. Tita bardie and gab's here, but they were already asleep long before Christmas came. Hay… i've been down for weeks but today, today was different. I guess Marissa Cooper was right when she said that the holidays only made sad people feel worse.

20 years… I've been alive for over 20 years and not once have i ever spent a Christmas having someone. Berna sent a Christmas greeting with her name and kyle's at the bottom of it… I couldn't help but laugh when other non-single SBs followed suit and sent greetings the same way. But then after a while it got to me: I was alone.

Christmas IS more than just gift giving and delicious food. It is, first and foremost, the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ… everything else are just additional frills. But with that said, Christmas is still, UNDENIABLY, filled with more spirit and warmth when you know you are loved. It is still made a little more special by the care of a loved one or the shared time of immediate family. Right now, i don't have that. And now that i think about it, i don't remember ever having any of that in my 20 years of Christmas eves. No noche buenas, no Christmas kiss, no special I LOVE YOUs, nothing… just me and my solo Christmas spirit.

I know i'm being such an ass for feeling this bad during Christmas, but i can't help it. I'm not suggesting that other people do the same though. ^_-

I hope that everyone out there will have the best Christmas ever! Enjoy your time with loved ones and don't forget to pass around those smiles while distributing or collecting your gifts. Be the blessing, sometimes it's the best you can do. Who knows, you might even be able to bring the slightest hint of joy to the people who need it… people like me. c:

>A<