It’s been so long.

Why have i been neglecting this blog for so long??! Gawd. This is supposed to be my stress reliever of sorts and yet i barely touched in on the days i was most down and unbelievably out of course.

Let me just say that the past weeks caused me a big part of my sanity. Many things i thought i unerstood hit me smack dab in the face and suddenly, i was lost.

I've spent months crying (yes, still) but never like the way i did the other day. I mean, i have, quite a few times in my life… but never in the past months. I thought i only had enough tears left for once in a while self-pity-parties and yet i cried like a friggin' baby for a good hour. It wasn't even the poised cry a "young lady" like me should be having, it was the whole bawl-and-scream-into-a-pillow type of breakdown. I was screaming out loud, listening to a song that reminded me of the "happy" past that is now long gone. And it's not even something i could gain back… it's just gone, and it's gone for good. Ignorance is indeed BLISS.

I also spent a good few days being angry to the point of insanity. FUCKED UP ASSHOLE! Who gave you the right to disrespect any of us!? We may be just students, but don't forget that if it wasn't for us you wouldn't even be here! And how dare you ask us to apologize for YOUR mistake?! Give me a break, we're not stupid! If only i could punch you in the face, that punk-ass, self-righteous face, I WOULD. Burn in Incompetent Hell fucker. May araw ka rin.

*sigh*

To sum it all up, i'm pretty fucked up right now. Emotionally, physically, and psychologically fucked up. I have no direction, i don't have a SAFE PLACE to run to, i have no one to lean my sorry ass self on, and i don't have anything to hold on to… nothing that's MINE atleast. :c

>A<